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We recommend water-based lube because it is safe to use with all types of toys. Generally you don’t need to disinfect toys that only one person uses or that stay covered with condoms. Some nonporous, nonmotorized toys can go into the dishwasher without soap for steam sanitizing.

And boy oh boy are there a lot of different types of external vibes. “Whether you’re thrusting into someone else, into your own hand, or just wearing it around, you don’t want the dildo to be wiggling around,” she explains. A prostate massager is a vibrating toy that goes up the anus to stimulate the prostate. “This can be thought of as the male equivalent to G-spot stimulators,” Fleming says.

That’s why we called on three sex toy experts (nay, connoisseurs) and asked them to give us the 411 on the main types of sex toys — all of which can be bought online. Whether you’re perusing the aisles and displays at an IRL sex toy emporium or scrolling online, shopping for a sex toy can be a little overwhelming. Like the name suggests, you pop it in and keep it there, like a plug. Butt plugs aren’t designed to hit one specific spot, the way prostate massagers are—they're great for generally stimulating the anus and rectum and delivering that satisfying sensation of “fullness.”

“While butt plugs are about creating a sustained sensation, beads are generally about one moment and movement,” Wolfe says. Stretchy, adjustable, and stainless cock rings are often designed to go under the scrotum, too. There’s also double-strap strap-ons, which are designed to be worn by people with penises. There’s a hole for the penis and a second one for the base of the dildo.

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